With regard to issues of PBM Chaos, there are but four basic choices.
1. To continue publishing issues that are pretty much the same size as they have been.
2. To publish issues that are even longer than what they have been.
3. To publish issues that are shorter than they have been.
4. To not publish issues of PBM Chaos, at all.
Number Four doesn't really factor into the equation, because if there are those who would prefer that I not publish issues of PBM Chaos, at all, then they always have the option readily available to them of not reading it. After all, reading requires an affirmative act (the free choice to exercise one's right to read or not), and there is no PBM Chaos mafia sent out to force or pressure anyone to read it. Furthermore, there's an unsubscribe option included at the end of every issue, so it's little more than a mere click away to choose to no longer receive these mailings from PlayByMail.Net in your e-mail in-box, if you're tired of them or for any other reason.
Number One is certainly possible, and it may well turn out to be the case that it is the default option, no matter what. After all, habits can be hard to break, sometimes, and by now, publishing issues of PBM Chaos since my return to this little PBM-esque adventure has already become entrenched as a habit with a weekly publication schedule. Now, life being what life invariably always is, something could transpire that effectuates an abrupt change in my habit of publishing PBM Chaos, as is. But those are bridges that we cross, when and if they happen. Otherwise, they remain relegated to the realm of theory and speculation.
Number Two is certainly possible, but that's only one consideration. Another relevant consideration is whether it's feasible to increase the length of issues of PBM Chaos from beyond where they're at, currently. Yet another consideration is whether there is a sufficient amount of material readily available on a per-weekly basis, to flesh out longer issues of PBM Chaos - which goes to the question of would longer issues of PBM Chaos be sustainable? Plus, too, longer issues of PBM Chaos also require more effort and more time to put together (more time than effort).
My resort to the word "effort" rather than "work" was a conscious and deliberate choice on my part, because this sort of thing isn't really like work to me. Certainly, there's a degree of labor that goes into it, but as a labor of love, my enjoyment of it more than mitigates the ability of the labor that goes into it rising in me, such that I begin to equate it with actual work.
Number Three is the direction that I have actually been leaning towards moving PBM Chaos in, going forward. A recent review of several recent issues of PBM Chaos made me wonder whether these issues are maybe getting a little out of hand, length-wise. I do know that at least one subscriber isn't receiving at least some of the issues of PBM Chaos, because Sender, which I use to send these issues out, informs me of an error. Specifically, the error in question is:
smtp; 552 Error: message exceeds fixed maximum message size 524288
This resulted in their e-mail address "soft bouncing." Out of 192 e-mail addresses that Issue #47 went out to, just a single soft bounce of an e-mail address isn't terrible odds. Even still, I can't help but to sympathize, somewhat, with both the problem and the subscriber. Subscribing as a Free Level member of the PBM Patreon site provides an alternative method whereby one can receive notice that a new issue of PBM Chaos or any of other PlayByMail.Net's mailings go out, since I post an announcement of such there, and I include a link to such issues and mailings, as well.
Ultimately, all PBM publications of any kind, be they in print format or in digital format, require content, in order to be produced. Some weeks, a good bit of content is sent to me for inclusion into issues of PBM Chaos, but on other weeks, hardly any is submitted by others. From my vantage point, I have long watched the rise and fall of the waves of the Sea of Submissions by readers of whatever PBM publication that I am publishing at any given moment.
I watch and I witness increases in motivation on the part of PBMers, and I also witness and watch decreases in motivation. Sometimes, declines in motivation have a way of auto-correcting themselves, as was the case recently with Joe Franklin and his Monster Island Monitor newsletter. He had had enough. That was it. The frustration that inheres in others not stepping up and rising to the occasion of contributing to labor of PBM love just has a way of getting to you, at times.
So, Joe pulls the plug on the Monster Island Monitor, but then what happens? Hardly missing a beat, he resumes publishing it. The duration of this PBM newsletter's absence proved to be so short that I can't help but to ask myself whether it ever actually ceased publication, at all? It did, but it didn't. Someone stepped up - namely, old Joe Franklin, himself.
Raven Zachary is a sort of PBM bellweather for me. I didn't bestow the title of The Most Important Man in PBM on him for no reason, at all, you know. When he appeared on the PBM scene a few years back, it was what I would term a "Paladin moment." Here was the real deal. A potential game changer, such was the fire that this PBM dragon breathed. Really smart. Great writer. Very personable. Gung-ho!
He dove in head-first. As I later learned, he wasn't new to PBM. Rather, he was returning to PBM after a rather extended absence, if memory serves me correctly, as I sit here writing this off the top of my head. I just don't tend to encounter PBM lions like Raven all that often. It's more common on just the PBM player end of things, but on the full monty of PBM stats, Raven was a real rarity.
But it isn't by pure chance or coincidence that you don't see PBM articles from Raven Zachary coming out of the forge of his mind, these days. In my own words, I would characterize it as a combination of frustration and disillusionment with various things on the PBM scene. I, myself, in fact, have contributed to his sense of frustration and disillusionment with PBM. I couldn't even keep the original Suspense & Decision magazine publishing on a reliable schedule (even if it did get off to a fairly good start, in my opinion).
If hardcore PBMers like Joe Franklin and Raven Zachary aren't immune to the frustration and disillusionment associated with trying to promote PBM gaming and undertaking all manner of different initiatives on their own to try and convert their raw energy and industrious effort into direct and immediate and unmistakable positive impact and results, then none of us are.
Could it be that none of us, either individually or collectively, have any real clue what we are getting ourselves into, nor have a firm grasp of what it will take to physically pull PBM gaming out of the swamp that it sank in a long, long time ago? Just curious, but what, exactly and specifically, hasn't been tried?
In the midst of this cacophony of different efforts, our collective efforts sometimes overlap and coincide, and at other times, they clash and various PBM efforts crash. Me? I'm an advocate of PBM noise. Hell, call in a thick and endless battery of PBM artillery fire. Fire!
Raven Zachary, by comparison, is a far more refined and civilized PBM personality than I am. He's diligently constructed numerous new PBM websites and wikis, and has led the charged for various PBM Discords, in his countless (and oft-unrecognized) efforts to bring PBM gaming into the modern age. Me? I'm more caveman in my approach. I'm blunt, whereas he has finesse.
Joe Franklin, if I may use him for a verbal punching bag for a second (it's OK - he's a monster on Monster Island - several, actually, and everyone knows that monsters are tough and can take a punch), Joe has a more narrow field of focus, like a laser beam. He's a Monster Island man, through and through. My field of focus (at the moment, anyway), is more broad beam, if that makes any sense to the discerning PBM taste buds out there in PBM Readership Land.
There's a certain irony that inheres in the fact that the whole of PBM gaming generates a VAST amount of content every single week, yet PBM publications, whether it be PBM Chaos, PBM Zombies, PBM Unearthed, Suspense & Decision (either or both versions - mine and Jon Capps'), Flagship, Paper Mayhem, and at least some other PBM publication produced down through the years always seem to be hounding their readers for articles and other contributions. That's quite the ever-continuing conundrum, huh?
This irony and this conundrum doesn't escape my attention - and never has, in fact.
The fact of the matter is that there is plenty - nay, more than plenty - of PBM stuff happening and going on out there all across the PBM realm to simultaneously fill a dozen or more full-scale PBM magazines, all publishing simultaneously. Yet, like that old woman in those Wendy's television commercials used to ask, "Where's the beef?"
In other words, if there's so much PBM content generated on a weekly basis, or even on a, dare I say it, daily basis, then why do PBM publication publishers moan, groan, whine, bitch, and complain about needing submissions? Well, because all of that "fruit of our PBM labors" is lying out in the field, just rotting away.
It's a transportation issue. It's a permission issue. It's a lack of motivation issue. It's a lack of awareness issue. It's a lack of willingness issue. It's a lack of cooperation issue. It's a lack of time issue. It's an efficiency issue. It's a lack of focus issue. It's a lack of coordination issue. It's an organizational dysfunction issue. It's a lack of get up and go issue. It's a lack of initiative issue. It's a lack of inspiration issue. It's a "don't care" issue. It is all of these things, and a few other things, as well, simultaneously.
There's a literal shit ton of PBM material that gets routinely generated in the current PBM era. Can I prove it? Oh, absolutely!
For instance, take Hyborian War. How many games of that are currently running? Hyborian War is a PBM game that has 36 player positions available in each game of it that starts. Now, as these games of Hyborian War run and process, from turn to turn to turn, some players will invariably drop out along the way. But how many pages of PBM material do each game of Hyborian War contain, both for a single turn and for an entire game, on average? For a single turn, hundreds or thousands, depending upon the turn, and for an entire game of Hyborian War, tens of thousands of pages, bare minimum. And this without even counting any of the many Hyborian War postings that get posted over on The Road of Kings forum site, not to many any of a number of different Discord channels (including private ones), nor the countless PMs and e-mails about the game that get routinely generated by players of Hyborian War.
Now, how many games of Middle-earth PBM have run in recent years? How many pages of PBM material does that game generate - or just its MEPBM Discord chat server, for that matter?
How many PBM Discord servers, Discord channels, online discussion groups, online forums, and whatever all else I am leaving out are there alive and active, today? More than you can shake a stick at. And all of this PBM activity by hundreds of people, if not more, is what passes for PBM supposedly being "dead," these days?
What can I publish? What can I not not publish? Who can I quote? Who doesn't want to be quoted? It is simultaneously a never-ending parade of PBM horribles through a veritable PBM Garden of Eden. It is both feast and famine, simultaneously.
Pick anybody in all of PBM, and task them with covering it all, or even with covering just a relatively tiny portion of it. Even a "bite sized" approach to covering PBM can end up proving to be way too big of a chunk to bite off.
Me? Not to make an excuse, but I'm older than I used to be. At least part of my "get up and go" has gotten up and gone somewhere else. At least, it sure does sometimes seem that way. All these many cats of PBM, I'm supposed to go out on my own and herd them all? I'm supposed to herd them through thick or thin, through good PBM weather or bad? Ever try to catch a feral cat, before?
Taming the PBM scene is a comical thought that is absurd on its face. Contemplate for a second trying to domesticate it, so that you can gather and harvest what it produces with greater regularity and reliability. Now, imagine what it would be like to try and herd tigers, rather than house cats. You've got to first find tracks of the PBM tigers. Then you've got to hunt them down, individually. You might catch up to them, or they might just elude you. And if you do manage to corner one of them, what then? Do you fight them for the PBM information that they have? Ever fight a tiger, before?
In the old days, back in the golden era of PBM, things worked somewhat the same as they do now, but also, somewhat differently from what they did back then.
PBM Zombies is the freshest PBM publication on the scene. But is everyone happy with it or about it? Nope!
Remember what they say about trying to please everyone? There's a reason why it's literally impossible to go that route. Nothing whatsoever would ever get done, if that was the pole star by which I (or anyone else) steer one's PBM ship by.
And speaking of PBM ships, if I were to characterize myself in that context, I'm kind of like derelict old ship that still chooses to fly the PBM colors. Older than when I first launched upon the high seas of play by mail gaming in the mid-80s, or thereabouts. Rusted over like crazy. I'm certainly not one of the biggest PBM gamers to have ever lived. The amount of actual play by mail games (be they played through the postal service, online, through e-mail, or by way of some client software program) that I have played down through the decades since I first encountered my very first PBM advertisement (one for Hyborian War on the back of a Savage Sword of Conan or on the back of a Conan Saga magazine - the black and white ones with full color front covers) has been rather meager. No hundreds of PBM games for me, and I can't legitimately lay claim to having played dozens of different games of the same PBM game.
While my place in PBM gaming is overshadowed by thousands - if not tens of thousands - of others, nonetheless, the PBM bug bit me the same as it did all the rest of you, regardless of how you reacted after you got bit by it (whether you played lots of different PBM games, or whether you only played just one or two specific PBM games over and over and over, or whether you only piddled at it, playing it only now and again or with instances where you would go weeks, months, years, or even decades between games of play by mail something or other).
What you end up with now, with me as the editor of PBM Chaos and PBM Zombies, is the current version of my PBM self, and not any of the prior iterations of myself in whatever PBM mode that I was in during any of my past episodes playing or moderating or reading about or writing about one PBM thing or game or another. Imperfections have always existed in all iterations of my PBM self, the same as they do, today, even if the particular impeerfections may vary, at times.
Over the years, my mind and my opinions about all kinds of things in or pertaining to PBM have changed. Even today, in what is indisputably the twilight years of my PBM life, opinions about different sorts of PBM stuff continue to form and to change. And like some volcanoes, the lava of my thoughts and feelings on some subjects relating to play by mail gaming never fully cool and grow hard and no longer show any signs of life. Indeed, quite to the contrary, there are things about PBM which still cause me to erupt in thought, be it new thoughts or old thoughts. In many instances, I continue to cycle through and to recycle older PBM lava that courses through the volcano of my mind.
No doubt, whatsoever, there are times when I probably ramble on too much about PBM,
even as there are other times when I probably don't say quite enough about certain particular things that readers of PBM Chaos might prefer that I be more verbose about. Yet, you get what you get, where I and my PBM rumblings and ramblings are concerned, for better or for worse.
As you can see, me going on and on and letting the faucet of my mind drip, drip, drip doesn't help me to achieve shorter issues of PBM Chaos. Well, that's just another of many PBM conundrums which I face, time and time again.
It's no harder for me to publish long issues of PBM Chaos than short issues of PBM Chaos It just takes a little more time to put long issues together, compared to short issues. A dearth of content submitted by others, however, is its own force on the PBM scene. It will naturally assert itself, and its impact will be felt - continuously. There's just no way around it.
In the grand scheme of things, PBM Chaos will ultimately prove to be little more than a blip in the history of play by mail gaming - the same as many different PBM publications, the same as many different PBM games and PBM publications, whether we wish to admit such or not.
Thus, if PBM Chaos is to have any real relevance, it must be in the here and the now. Once it enters PBM's rearview mirror, it will quickly fade from view. To most in PBM gaming, it's not even visible, at all, right now. Most PBM readers don't tread it. Most PBM gamers don't even know it exists. That, I think, is an objective assessment.
We are fast approaching the juncture where I cease to concern myself, at all, about whether anyone else out there bothers with submitting PBM content, at all. If they submit it, fine. If they don't, equally fine. If letting the PBM harvest rot in the fields is to be the order of the day, the preferred way of doing things, then so be it.
I'm not here to beg people to participate. If people in and across PBM gaming do not want to be cajoled into participating, then it's simply a waste of my time and effort to try and cajole them. PBMers have enough mental wherewithal to decide for themselves whether they want to participate and submit PBM stuff or not.
Rest assured, I'll continue to include submissions, when and as and if I receive them. And as far as I can see into the foreseeable future, PBM Chaos will continue to publish. It's a simple enough matter for me to focus upon whatever in PBM gaming attracts my eye or motivates me sufficiently enough to write about it. The only one that I have any real control over in PBM is me. Not you. Not Wayne "Smitty" Smith. Not even Old Man Weatherhead.
Who knows? Maybe smaller issues of PBM Chaos will be just what the PBM doctor ordered.